perfectly imperfect

Since improving my FTP at the end of January, my bike workouts have gotten SO. MUCH. TOUGHER. I’ve been going into each bike workout wanting to have it completed perfectly and what I’m producing is a whole lot of imperfection. I’ve found myself getting frustrated that I’m not hitting targets and sh!t quitting on myself…closing out of that ride on Zwift in the middle of it and opening an endurance ride just so I can feel good about myself.

When the heart rate says, “let’s go,” but the legs give you the middle finger. My brain tried to convince my heart and legs to get along, but the legs weren’t having those intervals THIS TIME.

Sh!t quitting on myself is NOT helping me get stronger. It is NOT allowing me to grow. I recently had a come to Jesus meeting with myself about sh!t quitting on myself when I’m not hitting the desired targets. I have come to accept that if I didn’t hit the target watts for the last interval, I need to put my head down, and try again on the next interval. This is where the growth comes. This is where I get stronger. It’s time to change my thinking. Failure on intervals is a good thing! No really, it is! It means my FTP is accurately providing me a challenge…forcing me to do work! Forcing me to get stronger! Forcing me to grow! So I didn’t perfectly complete my workout. Imperfection is real. It is perfect to be imperfect! I’m choosing to keep it real. I’m choosing imperfection!

***Don’t worry, I’m giving myself grace during this pandemic, listening to my body, and taking rest/recovery days when needed.

Do you choose perfection or imperfection when trying to grow and get stronger?

7 thoughts on “perfectly imperfect

  1. Maybe it’s technical Zwift/Wahoo software issues not giving you an accurate reading too. Something to consider. If you’re working and putting in hard effort, that’s not a fail! You’re going to feel amazing when you ride outside!

    1. It could be, but I think it’s fatigue in my legs. Some days I have no problem hitting the intervals, and other days I struggle and shit quit on myself. It’s time to shove the self sabotaging demon into the graveyard. If I keep showing up and putting in the work, I’ll get stronger! Can’t wait for those outdoor rides!

  2. My friend, you know as an educator that learning/growing requires change and change is brought about by challenge. You’ve set a big challenge for yourself. Understanding that it won’t be easy or immediately met is the first step. Believing that you will eventually get there is where the heart comes in. You’ve got this! P.S. After my testing session this winter my FTP went DOWN. So I’m officially on the other side of this thing called the age curve. Enjoy this time while you have it!

    1. Thank you so much for these wise words and amazing perspective! My FTP is down from race ready, but I’m totally fine with that! I’m no where near race ready and I too am aging. 😉 I do believe I’ll eventually get there though!

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